About four years ago Luke and I stood in front of our families and friends and made a vow to one another; that through thick and thin we would stand by each other no matter what. We vowed to honor and cherish one another. We promised that what God had joined together no man could separate. These vows have meant a lot to us for the last four years. So we decided to dedicate one of my posts to our marriage and Luke agreed to be a guest and answer all the questions (he refused to answer the sex questions- sorry!). All of these questions are ones people have asked us on Instagram or through my newsletter. You will get to read not only my answers but Luke’s answers. I hope you enjoy it!
My note: I just want you to know that every relationship is completely different. What works for us may not be what works for your relationship. The intention of this post is to talk about our relationship openly. It is not to flaunt or boast ANYTHING. Luke and I are not perfect and our relationship isn’t perfect. There is no secret to a happy marriage and there’s no magic trick anyone can do to guarantee a successful and happy marriage. But we show up every day and we work hard to ensure we are both happy. That’s all you can do.
1. How has your relationship changed in the last four years?
Luke: I don’t feel like our relationship has changed significantly. But I feel as though our lives, in general, have gotten so much busier. We have two little boys that equally need our attention and while I am home I try to spend as much time as I can with them. But also try to save some time for Kelly.
Kelly: I honestly feel like we are finally “settled in” with our marriage. The first three years were so hectic because we had JT 5 months after we were married, then we were adjusting to life with a baby, then we got pregnant again, and then we were adjusting to life with a newborn and a toddler. But now the boys are becoming more independent so we have more time for ourselves. More time to enjoy the boys and our life.
2. What did you find the most attractive about the other person when you first met? Is that still the most attractive thing about them?
Luke: Her eyes were the most attractive thing about her when we first met and they still are the thing I’m most attracted to.
Kelly: The thing that I found most attractive about Luke was his smile. I just remember playing cards the first night we really hung out and he was across the table from me. I looked up and he smiled so bright I swear I could feel my heart swell up in
3. What is the number one thing that the other person does that bugs you the most?
Luke: There’s a long list of things that Kelly does that bug me but the number one
Kelly: The number one things he does that bugs me is that he leaves the dishrag he uses wet in the sink. I don’t use a dishrag to clean the dishes because I have a scrub brush but he uses it. Then he likes to leave it in the sink and its normally in a bowl that has water in it. So all I think about is the germs just repopulating in the water. It’s weird I know! But it drives me crazy!
4. What is the number one thing you and Luke fight about?
Luke: We tend to bicker about the same things. Like the dishes, the boys, and money. But when it comes to fighting it always seems to be different things each time. I feel like our fights are constantly changing. There’s not a number one thing we fight about.
Kelly: I think most of our fights boil down to being frustrated by something someone outside our marriage has done and we felt like we weren’t supported by the other person. It’s hard fighting with Luke because he is the
6. Do you have a favorite child?
Luke: I don’t know… I wouldn’t say “Favorite” but I enjoy doing certain things with one child that the other isn’t able to do yet. JT is at an age where we can play catch together and he can “help” me while I work on the cars or the boat. Teddy is at the age where he just loves to cuddle and he loves when I put him to bed.
Kelly: This question cracks me up! It’s the number one question I get asked a lot! I don’t get why. But if you have more than one child you’ll understand what I’m about to write. I don’t have a favorite but I do gravitate to one child more. But that child changes from time to time. Right now Ted is at a boundary-pushing age so he is constantly challenging me. That’s pretty frustrating and makes me appreciate JT more. But last year JT was going through that phase and I appreciated Ted more. I think over time it will float back and forth between which one I gravitate to. Also, I believe that my children are completely different and require different things from me. As they grow older they might need me to be sterner or more nurturing depending on how they develop or the personalities they have. It’ll be interesting to see if this answer changes in 10 years.
7. What is the best thing about JT and Teddy? What is the worst?
Luke: The best is when I get to come home from anywhere I have been and they come running to greet me at the door. They are so excited it’s just awesome. JT is so much fun to go on walks with and go fishing and I love to look at the pictures in books and read them with Teddy. The worst is when they are in bad moods and nothing makes them feel better, on these days they can be very overwhelming.
Kelly: I think the best thing about JT is that he says the best stuff. Sometimes I can’t believe what comes out of his mouth. He’s just a sweet kid too. He tells me that I’m beautiful and he says that Luke is his best friend in the world. It’s just the cutest. The best thing about Teddy is that he loves to cuddle and give a million kisses! He’s such a loving little dude.
The worst thing about JT is that he’s starting to become a worrier so if have to get gas in the car I have to make sure to roll down the window and talk to him. The worst thing about Teddy is that he is constantly testing my boundaries. He’s seeing if I will stay consistent from day to day and it is hard to continue to be challenged. Also, he just learned the word “No!” so that’s his new favorite word.
Final Thoughts
The past four years have seemed to fly by! Which I guess is a good thing. I’m very excited to see what the next year brings. Hopefully it will bring a bunch of good times and laughter. No matter what it brings Luke and I will face it together.
Did you like any of the questions? Do you have any that we didn’t answer? Let us know! We love feedback and I love answering all of these questions! Don’t forget to share and like my Facebook page https://www.facebook.com/tomorrowisamotherday1/ Thanks for reading!
Kelly
Here are my last few posts: https://tomorrowisamotherday.com/2019/05/09/bedtime-routine/
https://tomorrowisamotherday.com/2019/05/28/my-summer-bucket-list/